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04.29.03 -

The Low-Fidelity All-Star: he was born with the cool, and it's totally natural.  He runs the gamut from Hipster Supreme (only they can ingest as much coffee as he) to the geeky hipster%
You are the Low-Fidelity All-Star. You were born
with your cool, and it's totally natural. You
run the gamut from Hipster Supreme (only they
can ingest as much coffee as you) to the geeky
hipster (Mario Kart, anyone?).

What Kind of Hipster Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

i'm not so sure about that. i was hoping i got something like "hobo hipster"..but after looking at all the results i suppose it's most accurate.

i want all of you to take this test. and tell me your results. cos it's fun like that :)


settle in my friends, you are in for a long review.

all i ever need is some moto to take the edge off.

i drove all the way up to evanston last night to see my rock n' roll heroes. i had to endure 2 or 3 shitty, shitty bands headed by [no joke] bald 45 year old men in hawaiian shirts. that's fine, whatever, it's like a talent show of sorts, so some will be good and some will be bad. but the festival organizer, the wonderful david bash, kept getting up there and touting these morons as having so much charisma and writing some of the catchiest pop tunes ever. people LEFT because of these losers.

the singer in this one band, earth times two, was wearing a charlie brown tshirt [you know, yellow, black, yellow] and really had an ok voice...but call me shallow...i can't love a band if i think the singer is ugly as sin.

i'm not talking 'traditional' good looks or whatever. i agree with sarah that tim from les savy fav is just about as attractive as they get. some people just OOOZE amazingness. with me, you don't have to be so pretty boy cute as long as you've got a good personality.

this guy was just...icky. his heart was in the right place but i wasn't so fond.

it was his band's last night as a band, and he descended from the stage with a camcorder in his hand. i watched him make his way through the crowd and interview people as he went. my mind silently sent out "stay the fuck away from me" vibes, but to no avail.

at one point i turned around and he was RIGHT in my face with his camera. he was talking really fast and making me more nervous. i just remember him asking me a slew of questions. he asked what band i played in and i looked at him like he was crazy. this is what brought me to the starred conclusion you will find below. he told me i MUST be in a band. then asked if i was a lyricist? guitar player? bass player? vocalist? music fan? [to this i emphatically expressed "yes" and i tried to tell him i was just there to see moto, but he and his line of questioning would have none of it] alcoholic? supermodel?

and with that he made some comment about me being a bitch or something and walked away. it totally sucked. not just because it was kind of scary and mean, but because this guy somewhere has me on camera shaking my head at him and smirking, and THEN he MUST have a shot of me looking totally bewildered and upset at him. and he is able to show it to people if he wants to. i hate it.

the other balding band was called 'tony something and the yeah'. their instruments squealed so loudly that it hurt my ears. after the first song the singer went "wooooooo!" and people started grabbing their ears. he said, "oops i think i broke a few glasses with that one, sorry guys."

they proceded to play boring, never ending "rock" that sounded like a bad night at rib fest. at one point he said, "this is my favorite song. ever."

the song they played went something like "being a millionaire. it's gotta be fun. lots of fun. fun."

he told us all to sing along and we look at him in confusion. when they were done he said, "raise your hand if you knew that song," and 2 people did.

he then said, "that was ac/dc" and it pissed me off even more. i was a captive audience for one of my most hated bands and i didn't even know it.

oh man that band was so awful.

on the positive side, a garage band called the new constitution played. they're not really my thing, they're too hard and stuff. but in comparison to the old man bands we'd been subjected to earlier, they were wonnnderful.

and damned cute.

see that's the problem with international pop overthrow.

****if you see a gaggle of young, attractive hipster kids, you best stay the fuck away. there's a 99 percent chance they're in a band that's about to go on.****

i realized this once i noticed the only two groups of ultracute boys present had gear with them. it seemed like only older people came just for comings sake. so i can 'sort of' see how i could be mistaken for a rock n' roller. ha. haha. yeah. not so much.

the new consitution had a bassist who looked straight out of interpol, with a bassist from the strokes, and a guitarist [who sang a line in one of their songs that made me so was something like "yeah i'm the guitarist in the baaaaaaaahnd"] who resembled very very much my friend james, who also looks strokesish..

the pages were the real scene stealers. the lead singer looked and sounded like john lennon. maybe resembled is a better word. there was just something about this kid [and i do mean kid. EVERYONE in this band is obviously about 20 or 21 years old] that screamed lennon. they're just so cute, go look at the picture on their website.

they opened and closed their set with a beatles cover. think of the best part of the best of 60's pop. they do for 60's pop what brian jonestown does for 60's rock. maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration, but all their 'oooh ooohs' won my heart. they exchanged smiles onstage and bounced with the beat happily as they played their instruments. they could seriously be something one day. they're from this area but for reals, once they get out, they will be *something*.

and then there's moto.

i have love for paul from moto that is unequaled in all my other rockstar crushes. he's gotta be early 40's. he has dirty black rock n' roll shag hair. he was wearing a torn up moto tshirt, black jeans, and a leather jacket. and he is just adorable. the first time i saw him play he looked like a dirty, filthy teddy bear.

he is damn hot now. see for yourself:

do we see a little robert smith in him in the last one?? hmmmm??

i love him. heart and soul. i belong to him.

2. 4. 6. 8. rock n' roll. rock n' rooooooll.

moto's so great, because you see them play somewhere and you're like "wow they have mastered the art of the 2 minute pop song [ok ok they're sort of punky too]. they're awesome. i'm gonna buy a cd."

you pop in your new cd and you are assaulted with all sorts of disgusting phallic imagery.

moto is greatly amused by sexual perversity. they love singing about body odors, body processes, fucking, and male body parts. for example:

from "it's so big it's flourescent"

"you better bring a mask and an aqualung, lest you drown in my jizz. cos it's so big it's flourescent, all the time..."

i LOVE them. how can you NOT?

you would never know how dirty dirty dirty they were from their live shows. i love that about them too. you have to dig to find their dirtiness. ahem.

but then on the other side they write some of the prettiest ballads. paul singing about love is like butter melting on corn on the cob. mmmmmm.

from a review i found somewhere:

"Caporino is a genius melodist--halfway through any of his songs, you'll start convincing yourself that he's stolen the melody from your favorite classic-rock record (he hasn't). He's also got an utterly filthy mind and burning fury about just about everything, but his pissed-off scatology is so good-natured that it comes off as charming and sweet, somehow. He also plays and sings with a bullheaded confidence that suggests he's convinced that he's an AM-radio star"




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