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08.05.03 -

ten great things about today [chronological order]:

1) i finally finished reading "high fidelity", after picking it up and putting it down countless times, and also searching around and picking out my favorite parts of the story to read at particular moments.

2) all my bills are officially paid for. i am officially out of debt. personal and otherwise.

3) i left my family's house without hating them - i was even a little sad to leave. it was sort of a rush to get out the door, and i'd rather have stayed. i had fun with those kid-ees.

4) i made excellent time on the highway, and was only 25 minutes late to work, after speeding and fretting i'd be at least an hour late.

5) i dealt with absolutely NO jerks at work tonite. everyone was really sweet, all the dogs i worked with were very nice, and the doctors were all in good moods. not that this would mean anything to anyone else who reads this, but i tell you now that this sort of syncronicity NEVER happens. and even though we didn't get out until late, it was worth it. tonite's shift wasn't with any of those limp-wrist, useless girls who sit around all night. it was just good.

6) michael showalter was on this week's episode of sex and the city. he plays a real jerk, a friend of carrie's exboyjerkfriend. he was so perfect. he's so hilarious in everything he does, but every interview i read he's this bigtime meanie... and somehow that's how i envision him really being. but i don't mind. i'm just glad to see him working. and the fact that he was on one of my favoritest shows of all time... bigtime points. now i can REALLY never talk to him.

7) saw reno911 finally. it's not as funny as the state, but it's still damned good. good enough that i want to start taping it, lest another fiasco happens where the show is suddenly cancelled and there are no surviving episodes, except on ebay. i love me some tom lennon.

8) talked to brian tonite, finally, and it was really good and easy and fun and lighthearted. and we're hanging out tomorrow for the wolf colonel show with jeremy. i'm a bit worried about when/how we'll have time to sit down and talk some things out, but i suppose things will sort themselves out.

9) talked to my friend, kyle, tonite - kyle's been nothing more than an acquaintence the last three years i've known him.. but sometime last night i started counselling him in his romantic endeavors, and he suddenly decided i was really cool. i made him laugh quite a bit and he suddenly announced that we were friends and he wanted to hang out one on one sometime. kyle is a great person, but he's too intensified for me. haha. bright eyes is his favoritest band of all time now.. has been for the last three or four months. and although i have not been a bright eyes fan since birth, i find it annoying that this kid suddenly thinks conor is the sun and the moon.

i liken it to this:

kyle is conor's new girlfriend, and i'm like the sensible exgirlfriend who stands around and says, "hey i'm really happy for you. you guys make a great couple." and although i really mean it, part of me is jealous and part of me is pissy and part of me is just sad. like, "he used to be mine..." and kyle is nice enough not to give me a hard time for hanging around so much, he's actually really understanding.

it's just like... he likes them too much for me to be patient with him.

but, he sent me three new bright eyes mp3s and they're all three really beautiful and touching and all that garbage. so i was happy enough with his current obsessiveness.

10) i told brian tonite about the bjm show that's apparently happening at the abbey pub on halloween. i read about it in the suntimes on friday, and brian was in disbelief when i told him the news. hours later, his away message said, "BJM abbey pub on halloween." it made me smile because this is one of my most/least favorite things about him. and i can't really explain it. that is just so HIM. whatever.


after having difficulties sleeping for the last couple weeks, i had some of the most vivid, terrifying dreams this last weekend.

they often involved me running from people who were trying to control me... and me being forced to be naked in front of other naked people... there were some weird things also, about me making up with people i've been sort of fighting with... and i kept waking up at the most inconvenient times and losing the train of dreamthought. dammit.

tonite i will find out if my hypothesis is correct, and it's just my bed that drains my mind of dreamlike imagination...


tomorrow will be lots of fun because my aunt and i are trekking down to my school of lost love to explain to them WHY on earth i dropped out so suddenly after having such a successful schoolyear otherwise. and then i'll have to explain about why i still owe them money. and then i'll have to beg them to let me re-enroll.

i was thinking i could just wait to do school again in january, but i hate not having somewhere to go everyday. and although it will admittedly be hard to get back into the swing of things... and certainly my mind will wander back onto why i'm repeating such and such class *DEATH cough DEATH*.... i have to do it.

and on a similar note, i'm going to another pet loss support group on wednesday. i feel like such a loser. it's been three months and i'm still as hopeless as i was before - i just tuck it away and ignore it better now.

someone make me a mixtape with happy-only songs, kay?



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