10.06.03 - 1:27 am
i knew this would happen. i just can't figure out why i'm not asleep yet?
je donnerais n'importe quoi d'entendre ce son familier.
[you were so right: i AM crazy. this IS a stupid rollercoaster. i just vomitted and i need off, like NOW.]
in the shower yesterday, i came up with a mantra that needs to be repeated whenever i have a moment of unfocused thought.
"this isn't real - he doesn't want you. this isn't real - he doesn't want you. this isn't real - he doesn't want you."
regardless of whether or not this is true, this is what i have to begin believing.
because for the past thirty-eight days, i've believed anything but.