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10.06.03 - 1:27 am

i knew this would happen. i just can't figure out why i'm not asleep yet?

je donnerais n'importe quoi d'entendre ce son familier.

[you were so right: i AM crazy. this IS a stupid rollercoaster. i just vomitted and i need off, like NOW.]

in the shower yesterday, i came up with a mantra that needs to be repeated whenever i have a moment of unfocused thought.

"this isn't real - he doesn't want you. this isn't real - he doesn't want you. this isn't real - he doesn't want you."

regardless of whether or not this is true, this is what i have to begin believing.

because for the past thirty-eight days, i've believed anything but.

 

 

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