12.31.04 - 8:30 am
i know i'm a bad person.
i know i truly haven't changed at all because here i sit, watching history repeat itself.
i know i made the right decision.
i know there will come a day when i miss you terribly.
i know you are far more skilled at *everything* than i am at any *one* thing.
obviously, i know you are a mad fucking genius.
i know i will never know anyone else my whole life like you.
but i know i can't know you right now.
i know i couldn't live a normal life with you around.
i know i've been extraordinarily unfair and predictable.
but i know i made the right decision.
some people are meant to just exist fabulously in your memory. they're so colorful that they mute all the other colors around you.
and you can't have that.
there is nothing i can say here to make up for or explain any of it, but i appreciate and remember all of it. that's all i can give you.