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02.04.05 - 5:15 pm

so this is a typical laura story:

my car is eight [!!] years old, and in remarkable condition for the negletful treatment i've given it over the years.

for the last, oh, six or seven months... my passenger-side front tire has had a very s-l-o-w leak in it. most people would suck it up and take it in for either a patch or a new tire right away. my brilliant coping method involved me driving around until the tire got so low i could hear the metal rim *scraping* on the road when i made sharp turns or accelerated, then putting it off another week, then stopping in at a gas station to pay 50 cents and re-inflate my tire, and then start all over again.

i did this for six months. knowing full-well that a new tire would probably cost 100 dollars or less.

and i dunno why, but i put it the hell off for as long as possible.

this morning i woke up and said to myself, "ok laura, you work from 11 till 230. you miraculously have the rest of the day off. it's gorgeous outside. today is the day! you will drive to work, and afterwards you will drive STRAIGHT to a pep boys and have them put on a new tire. and it will be good."

a day late, a buck short.

i drove to work alright, but at the last minute made a quick stoppy at ye olde gas station for a quick tire-firm-up.

me thinks i overshot it a bit.

because about five blocks away from the big bowl i hear a huge POP and then a menacing SCREEEEECH of metal scraping asphalt. i imagined orange sparks flying out at cars on my right-hand side by the way people were looking at me.

i gimpily tried to inch over, across three lanes of traffic, to the side of the road. the way the tire was dragging i knew it was shot to hell.

and i totally panicked. i have no idea why. who hasn't gotten a flat tire before? and it's not like i was in the middle of nowhere with help 80 hours away.

all that went through my mind is, "i have to be at work in 15 minutes. couldn't this stupid tire have waited another couple hours?"

i freaked out and called shannon, who is at home in the suburbs with her recovering-from-surgery mom. i think because she [shannon] is so used to being the emergency operator at our animal hospital she was so cool and calming on the phone.

she matter-o-factly told me to call a tow company. and i'm not kidding, it was like a light bulb went on in my head like, "oh yeah, that's what you DO when this happens."

i called work to say i'd be late, and they sent two of my work friends over in a big-bowl-subsidized taxi cab to help me put on a doughnut.

unfortunately, since i lacked a hub cab [on THAT tire and THAT one alone] the lug nuts had rusted to the the rim and could not be persuaded to budge.

that put me back at square one. so i sent them walking back to work, i sucked it up, and i called pep boys for a tow.

they told me i could leave the car parked on the street and head over to work only if i a) left my keys in my car and the doors unlocked [in the freaking loop? y'right!!!] or b) hid my key under the tire very inconspicuously...

i had no choice, so i pretended to tie my shoe, gave the 'hood ye olde once over, nuzzled my key as far under the tire as possible, and skedaddled down the block.

turns out that the tow was just 60 bucks and the new tire was just 50 bucks. i was expected a bill like 2-3 times that!

so moral of the story is:

1. don't fuck around with your car for any more than 6.5 months.

2. procrastination = bad.

3. laura has some of the most hilarious luck, ever.

*****
ellis worked lunch with me today, which was quite the shock and ALSO quite the welcome surprise, given the unpleasant morning.

not only that, but he was on the deck with me and my friend john.

i had my first ever real conversation with him today.

he told me he would be working more lunches nowadays because his girlfriend didn't like him working weekends.

girlfriend, huh?

they've been together 4 years!?!? and she's a consultant and makes like 200,000 dollars and has an apartment both in chicago and in wisconsin, where she primarily works.

he plans to marry her.

yikes yikes and triple yikes!!!

he is the strangest person, ever. and i mean it: ever.

there is no way to elaborate, you'd have to see him in action.

i appreciate the hell out of it.
*****
tonight, two big bowlers i quite enjoy are playing a show together in their respective bands [with a third band supporting], and it looks to be shaping up to be l'event du saison!

everyone good is going.

including me, and including j.

i love my life sometimes.

 

 

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