02.17.05 - 9:10 pm
for unknown reasons it occured to me today that for the rest of my life i will always prefer solitude to company.
i'm never happier than when i'm in my bed reading, sans worries that i'll be interrupted by someone wanting to make love or talk or invite me out.
phil's father married a woman and they lived in separate apartments for, i do believe, the entire duration of their marriage. they're now divorced.
i saw a movie tonight that was exactly what i needed. it was about two married couples and the things that happen to your dynamic after 10 years of being legally bound to one another. what i liked was that it wasn't trying to convince me of anything.
but what really stood out was: i wasn't scared, or disgusted, or bored. i was intrigued.
and last night we were lying there and i thought, "yeah, i could do this pretty much forever."
no one has ever made me laugh this much. and i've dated a lot of funny people.
but maybe if we get married we'll live in separate houses. that way everything stays fresh.
i don't want a house like terry and jack's. but i'm pretty sure it's inevitable.
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