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08.27.05 - 1:23 am

everytime i try to escape this space i fail.

i start other journals, smile to myself at my clever and secret new name, write four entries, and forget to ever go back.

i cannot imagine how many deserted diaries i have at this point. probably about 15.

i just feel comfortable here. this is where i've written for four years. i don't especially like this username anymore but i can't bring myself to delete all these entries and start over, or even cut and paste.

things are good, VERY good.

i read an amazing book and i can't get it out of my mind. the kind of book where the characters are so real it's as if you could call them up on the phone. you read their dialogue and laugh aloud and don't care where you are. bad things happen to them and your breath gets short. people die and you're stifling sobs.

i know, crazy right? a little dramatic?

not if you knew which book i'm talking about.

henry and clare are inspiring and strangely familiar. they make me comfortable. they remind me of us.

so it turns out they're making a movie about this precious little book. brad pitt and his ex-wife own the rights to it, and so he will be playing henry.

he is SO NOT henry.

adrian brody is henry.

kate winslet is clare.

and that's just how it is.

and so rather than go to sleep in preparation for a big day tomorrow, i'm stuck wide-awake in the dark thinking about how awfullllllly this story will translate to film, and how people will see it if brad's in it and not giving the book a chance [or worse! will read it and say, 'ehhh the movie was better...']. i'm sad that it will no longer be my little secret.

the time traveler's wife may not be the best book ever written, but it's officially my favorite book i've ever read.


"cait" is a host at work, and i like her a lot. she's by far the female coworker most similar to myself in temperament, attitude, interests, sense of humor. we talk and giggle and look forward to a time when i will join the hosting ranks and we can stand around and tell stories. oftentimes when someone announces "we're all going out" after work, we will check with one another to see if we really want to go. she's great.

she's also very cute, and small, and smart, and funny. she has a boyfriend of four years living back in her hometown. when i met her she "loved him so much" and talked to him every night and he was a major player in her life.

then my male coworkers [and only the really cool ones, mind you] realized that cait is quite rad, and started hanging out with her a lot. several of them developed blatant crushes on her. she and i would roll our eyes about them in private.

and lately she's not so interested in hometown boyfriend. they're "having problems". they "want different things".

and tonite i found out why.

"tim" is a much-adored server, very very funny, supercute, and single. he's abruptly moving to new york this week, and decided to inform cait one week prior to his move, via phone, that he has feelings for her.

this doesn't mean anything. tim may be awesome, but he falls in love with every cool girl he meets. he "liked" me for a period before learning about jeremy.. and every once and a while he makes little side comments that seem to mean "so.. maybe-i-still-like-you-a-little-but-whatever-it-doesn't-matter."

cait is a way better match for him than that scrawny little feathery anorexic blond vision of disgusting perfection that he was chasing around previously: aka natasha.

cait likes tim back [if i didn't have an amazing boyfriend, i probably would've liked tim back also...] but she has a boyfriend. and she doesn't live in new york. and doesn't plan to.

so off skips tim to his new life in the big city. cait-less and with his tail between his legs.

they are a couple i like to *think* would be adorable, but i bet in real life their pairing would annoy me endlessly.

cait is independent, original, confident. i like her.


my baby's gone out of the country for a week with his family. he will return to me golden-skinned and smelling of suntan lotion. i will rub aloe on his fully-relaxed muscles and run my fingers through his hair to release any mexican sand he brought home. i will smother him with kisses and lock us up in my apartment for three straight days.

it is day one of him being gone. if this is missing him i can't imagine what next saturday will be like...


i have my best friend back!!! & it happened almost exactly as i predicted.




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