08.31.05 - 2:28 am
my favourite part of tonight was when i drunkenly leaned across the table and asked ellis, "so how, EXACTLY, did you get SO weird?"
i'd been meaning to ask for months, and was JUST tipsy enough to pull it off without seeming like i really cared, which i did.
and craig said, "i don't think ellis is very weird."
and before he could finish his sentence i spat out, "well then maybe you haven't been paying ATTENTION.."
ever since elli-o got engaged he's been much more social and less goofy. there are about one million and one questions i want to ask him, and i get the distinct feeling i will definitely get the chance to.
*****
i had my very first review of my life today. a normal person would've thought it went "ok", but about 3/4 of the way through i went into meltdown mode.
i was ok until she said, "it looks like you're about to cry" and then suddenly i was doing my DAMNDEST to choke back sobs.
sobs!?!?
why? because i didn't get scored 5's on every single thing. because i'm too sensitive. because i work my little ass off there and she doesn't seem to notice.
and when we were done i escaped to the bathroom and had to sit still for like 15 minutes just holding my head, WILLING myself to stop crying, missing my stupid boyfriend, wanting to NOT have to serve tonite.
i splashed cold water on my face and sucked it up and served tables with puffy eyes and and and if anyone flashed me a quizzical look i shot one right back at them that said, "don't you dare ask, bitch."
i wish i were a real tough broad sometimes.
*****
you are invited by anyone to do anything.
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