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11.16.03 - 1:40 pm

i think i forgot to mention that the other night at the kingston mines, he asked me to be his girlfriend.

we had avoided any such talk. we both made references to not wanting to be in some heavy, serious relationship. we have a good time together and that's been good enough.

but i can always tell what's on his mind several days before he tells me. i don't know whether he absent-mindedly lets things slip, or if he's just testing the water.

i think he was a little drunk because the way he asked me was silly and obscure and very beat-around-the-bushy.

"i guess that's just an awkward way to ask you be my girlfriend. i mean, i know we've only known each other two weeks.. but i already feel like we're dating.. in a good way.."


at what point do i change my friendster status? i mean i like him a lot, but i still barely know him.

why isn't there a "just dating" option?? a "seeing someone" option?

"in a relationship" sounds so ominous and deadly.

"open marriage" is the most retarded option ever.

it's not that i'm keeping my 'single' status because i think someone better will come along, or because i even still think of myself as 'available'. it's just weird for me to say publicly that i'm dating someone. it's hard to explain. i'm not exactly embarrassed.. i just don't know how ready i am to officially be anybody's anything...

and what does boyfriend/girlfriend mean anyway? isn't that just another way to say "i like you enough not to like anyone else until we break up?"

uggggh. break up. the inevitable. breathing down my neck.

but let's not look ahead for a moment.

the last few days have been uncomfortable for no apparent reason. something about my friends + his friends = shittiness. we come from two different worlds.. its difficult to put into words.

i am prepared at any moment for this to stop. i have a hard time believing he means all the things he says. aimee mann has never been more relevant.

i can't do it

so move along

do you really want to wait until i prove you wrong?

and don't tell me--

let me guess

i could change it all around if i would just say yes...



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