01.31.05 - 9:45 pm
♥Lam and ♥Jtk |
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Orchestrated by  ianiceboy |
to tell you the truth, i resent the fact that people, *friends* of ours, tsk tsk at us for being unabashedly affectionate.
looking on at us with sardonic smirks and disapproving eyes...
ain'tchu got it by now? we don't give a fuck. we don't do it on purpose, or to get attention.
we're two people who make each other so deliriously happy - so much so that we unconsciously retreat into our own "baby"-talk world when together - and who previously were incapable of feeling anything Real or letting anyone get close.
it's an incredible thing, and i'm enjoying every minute of it, because i know firsthand how rare it is. i've dated a helluva lot of people, and they've all made me happy in different ways, but not like j. he is my idealized perfect other come to life.
and fuck everyone if they prefer to sit on their lonely high horses, judging us as overly lovey-dovey and pathetic. fuck them if they choose to deem us shells of our former selves because the tone in our voices is softer and sweeter. fuck anyone who thinks i've changed or lost my personality.
i'm still the exact same person, except i haven't got an ice cube for a heart anymore.
i can concede that for a period of a few weeks i became sort of lame... i was being stupid, and i wanted everything to be perfect for him, and i was insecure and telling myself [wrongly, i might add] that i needed him [when i only wanted him].
but it came and went like an afternoon t-storm.
it honestly bothers me that ryan told shannon he was glad she isn't like one of "those" girls -- "THOSE" girls, meaning ME, who *adores* her boyfriend and allows it to be abundantly clear.
it'd be a whole different story if ryan was dating someone willing to constantly dote on him.
jealousy is a killer, my friends.
my stance on the matter will henceforth be utterly unapologetic.
join the resistance. fall in love. let yourself go. be extremely vulnerable.
you'd never believe how fucking alive you'll feel.
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